This Too Shall Pass

Good morning everyoneee~

Hope you guys all doing ok and please stay at home because as you know many countries including Indonesia are in quarantine or keeping social distance for a while because of Corona virus / Covid 19. Stay safe, always remember to wash your hands and keep a healthy & clean lifestyle. Please avoid the crowd and avoid meeting people as much as possible, social distance is important right now to keep everyone including yourself safe. I know many people still have to go out for work,etc because some of them can't work from home but please stay safe, don't forget to wash your hands and put your mask on if possible :)

To be honest at first I can still relax and trying not to worried much about this but since Indonesia started to have a Covid 19 case, I became a bit worried too. Well, if you read my previous post you might know about my health condition and how my immune system is not in good condition lately. I'm trying to keep my healthy lifestyle as usual, including wash my hands too. In my last appointment with my doctor, he told me to avoid crowded place / meeting people including making contact with them (shake hands, etc) and always wear a mask. But don't worry guys, I'm doing ok and my health condition been in normal state lately Alhamdulillah (at least not as worst as last year). This is just a precaution & protection during this time of 'chaos' because of Covid 19.

We can do this guys. This too shall pass, Insha Allah, Aamiin :)

Jatinenjer a.k.a Jatinangor

Jatinangor again after 6 months (April). Haha I know, I can't get enough of Jatinangor xD also meet up with my lovely friend, Gege~ I have a lot of fun during my stay in Jatinangor. Hang out with friend, watching movies, went to Jatos, went to my campus, my kost and ate yummy foods ;9

What a Life ;)

Hello Halo Hey!~

I miss my blog so much :( its been 8 months since my last post here.

2019 been quite a journey for me, a lot of things happened in the past few months. It's been really difficult for me getting through 2019 so far (Without meaning to be ungrateful to Allah of course). My health condition is getting worst since early 2019 and I just know about the reason last May when I got hospitalized because my body cannot bear any longer ^^; I got two diseases and that's why I feel really sick.

If you look at my photos for the past one year, maybe you will notice that I'm getting skinnier and my face always looks tired and sometimes looks scary. I didn't diet or anything but I always losing my weight everyday for about 1,5 year. I loose 31 kg of my weight that's why I looks skinny. I lose my appetite, got tired very easily even when I'm doing nothing. My face is less and less chubby and it makes me looks very unhealthy and even scary because I looks like a living skeleton. At first I didn't think about it so much and pretending it was ok, I feel perfectly healthy. If someone ask me why I looks so skinny or am I on diet or something, I always said I'm not. I don't know the reason why I lose my weight and they sometimes didn't believe me. "No way, don't lie to me, you must be on diet Fouzna" they said. But I told them the truth, I have no idea what happened to my body.

Some of my relatives and my friend told me to take a lab test to check my blood sugar level because maybe I have diabetes. My dad have a diabetes history so there is a possibility that I might have it too. To be honest, me and my mom are thinking about this possibility too since I keep losing my weight without any reason, so yes, on January I took a lab test to know about my blood sugar level. The result is negative (Alhamdulillah) I feel relieved, but it only last for a while because the symptoms is still there.

And it get worse this year, all of those symptoms I felt since 2018 finally makes my body 'collapsed'.

The first week of ramadhan, after fasting for just one day I got a high fever. I went to a doctor in my hometown because I happened to spend the first week of ramadhan in my hometown. This is the worst fever I ever had, I can't even standing by myself and suddenly collapsed in front of my bedroom door. My parents and my sister got panicked when I fell in front of my bedroom door, my dad grab my arms and my body to help me to stand, but my body is so weak I can't even standing with my own feet. It scared me, really. Because it never happened to me before. I just want to get some water because I'm thirsty, and I taught I can walk to the dining room by myself. But just after I closed the door, I suddenly fell into the ground. Even when I got fever or felt so sick I still can walk by myself but this time is different, I really didn't have a power / stamina to walk or standing. Then I went to the doctor, the doctor said I have a laryngitis. I believe the doctor because I realized that weeks before ramadhan I'm drinking too much cold drinks when weather outside is so hot and sunny (please don't do this guys. however hot the weather is, please don't consume too much cold drinks / ice ^^;). I took medicines from the doctor for a week then I got better. I decided to go back to Bandung because I have to work but only after several days after I finished all the medicine, I'm having fever again. And at this point I started to worry and wondering what happened to my body. Why I keep having fever and I got no stamina at all. Finally as my friend suggests, I went to the hospital in Bandung to meet a specialist to know what is going on.

Long story short, I got hospitalized for 8 days and having a very detailed examination throughout my body (blood test, x-ray, USG, etc). And the result is I got a disease called MAC or Mycobacterium Avium Complex. If you wondering what disease is that, its like a lung disease cause by a bacteria. My lung is clean and I didn't have bad cough but I do have a bacteria (or virus?) in my body and I also have two small 'bump' in my throat because of this disease. This disease, MAC, is the cause of my problem. Fever, loss my appetite, low stamina, all of that is because of MAC. I need to take a lot of medicines for 6 months and also routine medical check up.

Four months after that (September), I feel slightly better but the symptoms is still there. I keep having a low stamina, still didn't have a appetite sometimes and my blood pressures is so high everytime I did a routine medical check up every month. My heart beat is also high / beating too fast than it should be. Even I have tremor too, my hands sometimes shaking and I can't even open a bottle cap by myself. My doctor and I keep wondering what happened this time. Why I still didn't get any better. I do whatever my doctor told me to do, I took a medicine to lower the blood pressure, keep a healthy diet and eating less salt in everything I ate but my blood pressure is still high. Then my doctor told me to go for a new test.

I took a blood test and examination in nuclear department at the hospital. Also, this is my first time doing this kind of test or examination. Long before I got diagnosed with MAC, My friend who got hyperthyroidism told me that I might have same disease like her. She is certainly knows the symptoms and she told me that the symptoms is similar with I felt. Before the result came, I already got a feeling that I might have a hyperthyroidism too. My mom also have the same feeling. One day before I got the result, I know the result will be positive of hyperthyroidism and then I got silent. I'm sitting in waiting room inside the nuclear department with my mom and my sister. And then I just can't hold it anymore... My eyes got watery and finally I cry. Just four months ago I diagnosed with MAC, an illness I never heard it before, never thought I will get that unfamiliar disease. It took me a while to finally accept it and to adapt to a new lifestyle because of that. One disease has not healed yet, now I have to accept the fact that I have another diseases. My mom keep encouraging me and told me that is ok to cry, everything is gonna be ok Insha Allah. This is just another test from Allah so I can be a better person again. Be more patient and stronger. But you know what, the next day I feel ok. After crying I felt more calm and honestly I can accept all of it. So when I go the lab again to take the result I'm no longer feeling sad. I just accept the fact that I got two diseases and I have to take more medicines (well, the more the merrier right? Lol).

So yes, that is the story of my ilness hahah. I can laugh about it now xD The symptoms of hyperthyroidism is slightly similar with MAC except the tremor, mood swing (believe me, this is the worst, I just know that all of this time I always have extreme mood swing is because hyperthyroidism) and enlarged thyroid gland. Also hyperthyroidism is kinda hard to detect in most of the case, that's why my doctor also didn't realized about it at first. I'm glad everything is clear now about my diseases and I can get treated the way I should for my two diseases. I still have to take all of those medicines and meet my lovely doctor once a month. My symptoms have greatly diminished and improved. I feel much much better now Alhamdulillah :) My lifestyle is becoming more healthy now, much more healthy than before I got sick LOL. Less sugar, less salt, less meat (especially red meat), eat more veggies and fruits. And now I didn't push myself too hard for everything. I'm trying to become more relax and when I feel tired or I feel like doing nothing then I just do nothing. In the past sometimes I tend to push myself and doing everything as fast as possible because I didn't like delaying any work and house chores. I let my body rest and decided what I have to do based on my health condition now. Especially it is not good for my heart condition (hyperthyroidism make my heart beat faster than usual so I have to avoid working too hard because of it ^^).

Things keep happening nonstop. After I got two illnesses, the company I work for suddenly gave a 'surprise' to all of its employees. Because of one and two reason the company cannot continue to operate so yes, I now looking for a new job. I'm officially became a job seeker again since last October hehe. Wish me luck guys ;) and you know what? Even after that, something happened to me again xD I suffered a knee injury while I was packing things in my kost ^^; I will not talk about this in detail otherwise this post will be very long to read (it already is Fouzna LOL), Alhamdulillah the injury is not severe. It took a while for me to be able to use my knee normally and doing activities but it's getting better now.

Everything happened for a reason and I know Allah Does Not Burden A Soul Beyond That It Can Bear (Quran 2:286) so I believe all of this happened because He love me and He know that I'm strong enough to get through all this :) Bismillah, yosh!

I hope next year will be better. I can get a new job (a new steady job hehe) and my health condition is continue getting better so I can free of meds soon ;) Aamiin.

Last but not least, for those who happened to get same diseases like me, keep fighting! You can do it! We CAN DO it! Let's hope for the best and keep doing our best!

See you in the next post!

眼鏡 メガネ

So, after all this years ehm I just kidding, I mean after around 2-3 years having problem with my vision finally I managed to take the time to see an ophthalmologist (is it the right name?) or we can call it eye doctor (?). And yes, the result is I have minus it both eyes and my left eye is having astigmatism. That's why I always feel unclear seeing objects that are far away from me. Now  I became a person who was required to wear glasses of course.

Last week finally I managed to go to the optical with my best friend Niyar. I bought a glasses based on prescription. After several times it always failed to meet her, I can finally met her :D Thank you Niyar for accompanied me and help me to choose what kind of glasses fit with me. See you next time!

December's Wedding

Hello hello! Finally I can write on my blog again hehe. Many things happened for the past 2 months. Decided to resign from my first job on January and got a new job in Bandung after that but now I come back to my hometown again. Yea, many things happened... currently I'm searching for a new job again, wish me luck! :)

By the way, my brother finally married last December (haha you can't bother me anymore in home now :p). Congratulations for your wedding! Hope for a sakinah family, Amin. Don't forget to give us lovely niece/nephew hihi :D

Announcement

Hello! Happy new year all! *it's late Fouzna.. Lol*

Just want to write something in here because finally I can update my blog again.  I just have to say goodbye to my laptop because finally its decided to take a pension forever :( Thank you so much my lovely laptop! Thanks for helping me for 6 years! Haha :') So, that's the main reason why I can't write anything here for almost 1 month *I'm using someone's laptop now xD* There are few thing I want to write in my blog but maybe I can save it for later, I'm not preparing for it yet hehe.

Anyway, welcome 2017 and please be nice to me haha. Still do my best for everything, yosh!

See you!

Sayounara, Chobi kun!

How sad I am when I know my beloved rabbit, Chobi, has died last saturday. This is so sudden, He (Chobi) was so fine and healthy on Friday, did not get a sick at all but suddenly in Saturday morning he already lying motionless in his cage. My morning routine is feeding my rabbits and let Chobi come out of his cage then let him playing all day in my backyard, but when my sister want to bring out Chobi from his cage, Chobi has died. At first my sister thought that he was sleeping and did not want to come out of his cage but few minutes later my sister realized that Chobi do not move at all, he died... :'(  My sister calling my name loudly and said Chobi is dead while crying. Me, who was watching TV in the living room running immediately to the garage and seeing Chobi was lying, do not move at all. I'm so shock, I stroke him softly and then tears drop from my eyes. This is so sudden... I feel really shock and sad :'((( My brother said that maybe Chobi did not want to makes us worried or bother us if he is sick before he die so he choose to die that way :"((( 

Four years with Chobi feels like short time, I still remember the day I found Chobi on traditional market while I was in college, I bought him and bring him home. He was so little that time. I love him so much. He is really smart and funny. He can walk alone from his cage in the garage to the backyard by himself, he know the path already so we do not need to carry him at all. He like it very much when I stroke him softly. He love to lying under the chair / old bicycle in the backyard (he feel comfortable I think). We just give him new friend, Chibi (female), but he suddenly gone :(

It's been 4 days already but I still remember him. Sometimes I forgot that he was gone, I still looking for him in my backyard or seeing his cage in the garage. Well, I have to let him go. I hope you are happy with me and family this past 4 years, Chobi.  さようなら、チョビくん！:')

First time I met him

Bye bye Chobi :')

Rain

The weather became so erratic lately, sometimes sunny and suddenly rain's fall. We can not  predict the weather anymore, we can't say that next month rainy season will stop or not and farmers became confused. They can't decide which plant they should plant due to unstable weather. When I'm back from Jakarta (via Cipali) I can see so many plants rot due to waterlogged. The farmers plant red onion and timun suri (I don't know the english translation for this :p) in the middle of unstable weather like this, maybe they thought that the rain will not fall so they can plant that summer crop but they were wrong. And you guys maybe already know about that incident in Garut and Sumedang too, right? Heavy rain's fell and landslides happened. Many people lost their homes and some people's dead :( Thankfully, many people did a fundraising to help them until now (you can participate too guys).

Speaking about rain or rainy season, I really love rain! Really, really, really love it! As long as it does not bring disaster, I love it very much. I don't know why but every time rain's fall I become so relax and cozy feeling comes over to me. Just like a child feeling so happy when they got a present or candy, that's what I feel when rain's fall. I don't care if someone else said they hate rain or they hope rain will not fall because when rain's fall they can't go out freely, because for me I just love rain very much so I don't really care about anything else hahaha. Well, it's true that sometimes we can't go out freely because of rain but hey, let's just be grateful for it. God give us rain. When we really need water and feeling so hot, we began to hope rain will fall, but when rain's finally come we started to compalin too, huft what do you want exactly, human? ^^;

Maybe some of you will think I am a bit crazy or strange but it's true that I really love rain. Even when overcast come before rain's fall I feel happy already. Drizzle or heavy rain, I love both of them. As long as it does not bring disaster of course. Let's just be grateful for everything, be kind and keep  your positive mind. I know, life's not easy sometimes but there are so many things to be grateful for. I try to keep my postive mind and sincere anytime and anywhere and it turns out it was very good for my lives. I'm no longer easily agigated and stress when faced any problem, Alhamdulillah. Also thanks to my psychologist who told me to do so haha. I was very stressful back then, until I decide to consult with a psychologist and I got a nice result after that. And No, if you think that I'm in a big trouble or get a serious psychiatric problems the answer is no. It just I'm feeling stressed beacuse of something and my mom suggest me to met a really nice psychologist (he is soooooo nice) :)

Anyway, see you again on my next post! Stay positive and be grateful for everything guys!~

Keep Healthy, Stay Positive

Finally I have a chance to visit my blog again and write something hahaha. There are so many things I want to post here since las month but sadly I can't do it. H-2 Eid Mubarak I got sick for almost 2 weeks. It's just a flu before it became worst (after flu then asthma will come to me, as usual) even I had hoarse too. Alhamdulillah I got better after 2 weeks, but.. it only lasted for about a week. Two weeks got sick, 1 week feeling healthy then I got sick again -_-" 

I was exposed to smallpox, yes, smallpox. My brother and my sister was exposed to smallpox too so three of us stay at home for several days. I'm never exposed to this disease when I was a kid and now when I'm 23 y.o I got this desease (both of my bro and sist never got this deasease too so, its easily transmitted to them). Believe me, it's more worse when you got this desease as adults than as child. I had fever, felt limp, itchy and smarting all over my body from head to toe and I can't sleep because of that. In the end, I was hospitalized because it getting worse (thankfully my bro and sist did not being hospitalized too). This is my first time being hospitalized :( 

Alhamdulillah, after spending a few days in the hospital I feel better although I must stay at home for about a week, so the total I exposed to smallpox is ±2 weeks. I get back to work again and try to make some update on my blog but the internet connection is so poor and my laptop cable's damaged and that's why I can't write anything here until today. Hahaha what a story, right?

Ok, let's change the topic. Here some pictures of me and my family on Eid Mubarak day. We went to Kuningan and Indramayu. Visit our relatives, shopping, eat yummy foods and enjoy our holiday.

See you on my next post (it will be about lens review) and don't forget to keep healthy and stay positive!

Masterpiece :p

blur :(

The famous Hucap Ma Iroh ~

Holiday, Please!

My current mood be like (see picture below) LOL

Pardon me but I'm not really into the mood for work guys. Like really... I wish this week is holiday already just like those schoolchild :( Lucky you if you are one of them, you must be enjoying your holiday so much right now. Watching TV, sleeping or do nothing in your home xD but yes, I have to be grateful for everything, let's say Alhamdulillah :)

Just several days to go to Lebaran, have you guys preparing for it? do you go to your hometown this year? or you have to working on Lebaran day? If the answer is yes (working on Lebaran day) good luck for you, ganbatte! :) Maybe you can enjoy your holiday after Lebaran hehe.

I'm gonna review another lenses I bought on Eyelovin but maybe I can do it later. I'm still preparing the pict,etc for the post. So, basically what I write right now was kind of "curhat" hahaha (congrats, you just waste your time to read this!). I will do my best for my job this week so I can enjoy my holiday later xDD

See you!